Feminist at fault: from Susana to Wanda and from Claudia to Pampita, the fashion of being a spoiled cuckold

Being cuckold is fashionable. In the networks, the clarifications of the concept and more and more women are happily flaunting their supposed horns. No one knows very well when the connotation changed. Being cuckold (or cuckold, it seems that it does not matter, but not so much) is the same all over the world, and it had, until recently, a pejorative bias.

The etymology is not very clear either. In Greek mythology, Pasiphae, the nymph of Crete, falls in love with a beautiful white bull that her husband, King Minos, had not wanted to sacrifice. Minos was so unfaithful that Pasiphae cursed him: when he had relations with others, he ejaculated scorpions and snakes that ate the organs of his lover-victims. But her infidelity with the bull had a more obvious consequence; sacrificed lovers could hide, a minotaur son was living proof of their betrayal. The horns of that bull-headed man then became a symbol of conjugal deception.

Another possible origin dates back to the Vikings. The story goes that the chiefs of these Scandinavian warriors had the right to sleep with all the women of their village, regardless of your marital status. So what when they were with one of them, they left their horned helmets at the door. The horns were the unmistakable sign, to a married Viking, that the chief had chosen his wife. A similar practice, also in the Middle Ages, was the “Right of pernada”, by which the feudal lords had the right to a first night to deflower the maidens who married their servants. They too they left the antlers of a deer at the door (this time with C) to indicate that this ritual of abuse was taking place.

But, for a while now, there are many who call themselves cuckolds as if it were a good thing. What first was to make fun of the imposed happiness that is printed as an imperative on T-shirts and cushions –live, dream, laugh, love, believe–, gave rise to a list of “cuckold things”. The most irrefutable: tattooing “resilient”. Until at some point, someone thought twice: if painting with watercolors, listening to slow music or having rest and desire to adapt to problems is horned, long live the moose! The animal in all its variants is now multiplied in illustrations, photos and gifs to accompany the confessions in which he is ironic about his own tastes and desires: a sunset, a drama series, a sprig of jasmine, a salad.

In my favorite chat group, we are all feminists and opinions are divided. To some it seems like a plain and simple horror, and others make playlists with perfect themes to free the inner horned that we all have. Because the cuckold dances, sings, decorates the house and lights scented candles, the cuckold drinks ginger tea and honey, and the cuckold generally has a good time. Because it wants to, because it tries, because it is imposed as a mandate; in its new meaning, the horned woman’s life is determined enough to adorn it, even with horns.

It is said that Wanda Nara charged US $ 50,000 (that is, more than 5 million pesos) to sit with Susana Giménez in a spectacular Parisian hotel to talk about your husband’s infidelity. The story of her sentimental tragedy includes everything from a flight in the first (private) plane she found to go to take refuge in her Milan apartment, to a “girl who organizes our parties in Paris” and who, when asked for a photo of her daughter for an invitation, unintentionally triggered disaster. “There I saw the screenshots of the chats with a famous woman that you already know,” he said.

But it also includes the well-known image of a woman who, against all evidence, wants to believe her husband: “We tell each other everything, we blindly trust each other”, “I put my hands on the fire for Mauro”, “He told me that there was an encounter and nothing happened; it could have happened, but it is true that it did not happen ”.

Perhaps that was the climax of the interview, which until that moment Icardi looked behind the camera, styled like a boy who made mom mad. “It’s the price you pay for fame,” said Susana. “It is the price I pay for my impulse: it was my fault,” said Wanda. And then he apologized: “My anger was a capable macho look, as we have in general with everything. I blamed the woman. Then, obviously, when you start watching, you say: ‘Don’t stop, I have nothing with you. It is your life, I share that a woman can be free. I love it and I admire it, but I’m very old-fashioned ”. And the thing is that Wanda has an extraordinary lifestyle, but deep down she feels the same as most of the women of her generation: she wears Gianvito Rossi thousand-euro shoes, but they are uncomfortable; He understands that he has internalized machismo, but the emotion and his reactions go the other way.

The diva recognizes in her a kind of pair: She is blonde, she is rich, she is alive, and she works for her career as she always did. She is a woman who suffers in public, as happened to her so many times. Wanda’s “phone in hand”, placed as if it were a weapon, is Susana’s ashtray. That is why the most spicy question, if China Suárez paid for herself the ticket to Paris to see Icardi – slipped with disguised evil in the midst of the “miamorrr”, the laughter and the praise of that divine couple -, It is a veiled way of opening her eyes, almost a “Friend, notice”. And it is typical of the sisterhood of another time and the truth about why we love Susana (or Wanda): it is not careful or correct, but it is real and spontaneous.

These days, a tweet with Wanda’s text went viral saying that Icardi threatened to leave PSG if she left him, and the phrase: “Typical cuckold.” The thing is the cuckold is always female, and if she is male too. I saw another where Alberto is called cuckold because of the speech in which he said that “victory is not winning, but never giving up.” Both of them amused me. Too I laughed at a scene from Maradona’s series in which everyone disguises themselves as hunters to fool “the witch” so that Diego can go fucking. And it gave me a bit of guilt, because what matters most to me about how the story of that tyrant, possessive and misogynistic God we love is told, it is fair to the holy martyr capable of tolerating what Claudia was (or forced to be for years). Faced with the scandals, addictions, infidelities, extramarital children, she was the discreet, resigned one, the one who was asked in a report: “How can you hold out so much?”

Claudia endured because enduring was what they had taught her, “For the girls”, and because she was the woman of the greatest idol of the most macho of sports. She endured because he “always came home” and she had to be his home, the safe place. When they married in 1989, the Divorce Law in Argentina was barely a year old: Claudia held out because it was what women had always done. Like Diego, society gave him a too heavy, unfair place: it was his responsibility to put a limit to the runaway idol, alone to contain the excess that was a party on the court, weed the environment and, in the midst of everything, raise her two daughters, also alone. God was busy being God and also getting other women pregnant, but devotion and fidelity were expected from her even after the separation. And of death, of which yesterday, just on the International Day for the Eradication of Violence against Women, the first anniversary was celebrated. “I would like Claudia to say: ‘Even if you are dead, I still love you,'” Diego promised her on television and for posterity on La Noche del Diez, in 2005, when they had been divorced for two years. Aware of its importance, he imposed a more demanding vow than the matrimonial one: He not only had to endure “until”, but even when death separated them.

It is true that Maradona was not taught anything else either; violates, but does not know. They taught him that God was a man and had a right to anything. And they were not taught by Coppola or Ferro Viera – who are probably necessary participants in abuses such as that of Mavis Álvarez, according to her complaint -, the mother taught it to him. The first misogynist was Doña Tota, that he gave him women to use and discard, as shown in the series he made with Sinagra. Yes, it is fictionalized and “any similarity with real people is pure coincidence”, but that gene, in another context –because the majority are not millionaires or globally idolized–, almost everyone knows about it. If she was in charge of her house –and she took care of the accounts–, as Diego himself said more than once; It is logical that the mother of 10 did not want competition.

Maradona’s misogyny is further proof that patriarchy was and is a collective construction: our God was not born from a cabbage. And the same happens with the one that today assumes the girl who – coincidentally – became famous for her virginal affair with the idol. That is why it is valuable that he pass it on clean, although the chimentos programs already have the detailed description of the hot photo of China, surely encouraged by Wanda’s comment half a minute after her public regret: “(The messages to Icardi) said things that a woman like me, with the values ​​that I have, would never have written.”

I was surprised to see in the dictionary of the RAE that the definition of cuckold applies especially to the husband who is the object of infidelity. And the examples also surprised me: “Jokes about cuckold husbands abound”, “His wife is a spoiled cuckold”, because perhaps that is the key to this strange enhancement: in the traditional or “old-fashioned” look. , as Wanda says, the cheated husband is a jerk, but the cuckold is filled with attention. It is written in the most consulted Spanish dictionary. For those stale gentlemen – more educated, but not very different from the sports journalist Flavio Azzaro telling Pampita a week ago that she was “the cuckold of Argentina”, As if the scandalous infidelity of the ex who shares with China (yes, everything has to do with everything) were a voluntary, or chosen, attribution, being cuckold has its benefits, even if you have to bear the husband’s misogyny.

Wanda also says it, twenty days after the scandal for the infidelity of hers: “Any woman would die to be in my place”. Why would anyone want a husband who pays tickets and hotels for another? Of course, I can also think of reasons, obviously cuckold, or macho. But The reasons for forgiving or accepting an unfaithful partner are endless and, if violence is not mediated, they are also intimate. Wanda does not need to explain hers beyond the contract she has had to tell Susana. Neither Claudia nor Pampita need it, perhaps two of the most resilient women we know. No one should be forced to justify their wish, and much less the alien. Not even those women who declare themselves cuckold and proud in the networks. Who can judge them for preferring to be pampered while they live, dream, laugh, love and believe?

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