La China Suárez and the ‘lack of sisterhood’: what is the guilty woman model

The separation of Wanda nara and Mauro Icardi, in the framework of the alleged affair of the soccer player with Eugenia “la China” Suárez unleashed a wave of accusations. Among them, those that pointed to the protagonist of “Alternative Therapy” stood out due to her lack of sisterhood. But is it correct to define the solidarity between women starting from this?

According to reports, after the alleged messages that the athlete and the actress exchanged, several of Suárez’s friends left her and even verbally assaulted her, taking sides with Wanda and her family. One controversy after another.

Meanwhile, the attacks on China Suárez increased both in social networks and in other spaces. To such an extent that his ex-partner, Benjamin Vicuña, came to his defense: “I cannot let go of the violence that is generated in the media and networks towards a woman that I love and respect as the mother of my children“he wrote on Instagram.

Let’s talk about sisterhood

“Sorority refers to solidarity and the alliance established between women in the face of discrimination or patriarchal violence. It is this of realizing that we are all united by that oppression, “he explained to Clarion the transfeminist psychologist Yanina Mandarino (on Instagram, @ psi.licyaninamandarino). In this context, he stressed that he was very struck by “that emphasis is placed on the concept of sisterhood in relation to this case.”

The psychologist mentioned that “beyond delving into the acts and behaviors of the people involved here, we must pay attention to how the confrontation between women is emphasized once again, how female rivalry is promoted.”

According to her, this case shows how present the patriarchal violence and it shows that the real debate does not go through the privacy of China Suárez, but rather through “thinking about what we can do to promote sisterhood.”

Carolina Dome, a member of the Red de Psicologxs Feministas, teacher and researcher at the Faculty of Psychology of the University of Buenos Aires, mentioned that “the concept of sisterhood is a concept to reflect and mature.”

Regarding this particular act, he admitted that although “it may be thought of as a lack of sisterhood, this is not the most punishable or serious act, since here there was a cheating by a partner that, somehow, he did not respect a pact, broke the trust with his partner ”.

“It seems unfair to me that they notice that and not the lack of responsibility of many men regarding the commitments assumed with their partners”.

The guilty woman model

Within this macho logic there is a tendency that is repeated: guilt and responsibility, apparently, always have to do with a woman.

“China is accused of breaking homes, Wanda of mediating the scandal, but the figure of the male is blurred, who is truly at fault ”, assured Mandarino.

“Mediating female rivalry showing man as a consumer good, a man who has it, appropriates it, steals it ”leaves him almost as an entity with no choice or decision. And in this particular case, also as a victim.

According to the specialist, instead of constantly judging female behavior, it would be positive to approach this situation from “the affective responsibility, which is the responsibility that we have before another when we have a bond ”.

In this regard, Dome pointed out that “affective responsibility applies to both men and women; only, as long as we live in a patriarchal culture, It seems that today there are more permits and impunities for the male gender”.

Why are Wanda or “China” mentioned more? The member of the Network of Feminist Psychologists insisted that “we must begin to question the positions that were practically not mentioned, because they are men who have committed an infidelity and they have committed harm to their partners, and that is not talked about ”.

Referring to how the personal history of the protagonists is investigated, he stressed that “they talk about the ‘icardiada’. And what is the ‘icardiada’? It is a lack of codes between men, a criticism made of a male for cheating on his friend. When a man breaks the patriarchal pact, there he is judged. But when it is someone who cheated on his partner, the fact appears minimized or directly invisible ”.

From friends to enemies: is it possible not to take sides?

The supposed anger of the friends of “La China” Suárez would have to do with the support that the group expressed to Wanda Nara. But while the lynching of the actress in different social networks does not stop, another sector tries to show that, beyond this particular case, it is unfeasible to continue pointing out constantly and only to women.

Flor Rodriguez, a psychologist specializing in links (on Instagram, @psiflorrodriguez), explained that “in these cases the third in discord takes the place of the scapegoat. All the guilt, frustrations, negative feelings and anxieties of the relationship are deposited on her ”.

In this context, he explained that it is a defense mechanism and that this “explains the reaction of the couple’s environment, which in this search for ‘sisterhood’ excludes the third in contention”.

“It is an expected response, but it is not aimed at resolving the conflict or emotionally accompanying those involved,” he concluded.

Regarding what as close people can be done to help those who are going through this situation, Rodríguez said that “the first thing we can do is ask what you need. That is the best way to have an affective response adjusted to the needs of the other, of the person who is suffering. A response from empathy, listening and solidarity ”.

For his part, Dome stressed that although “on the sex-affective plane there will always be conflict”, it is cause for celebration that “many feminist voices have come out to say that here is the whole world judging a woman and it loses sight that these things no woman does alone”.