Our article will tell you what goals different couples set in their relationships. Why are the relationship goals different within the same couple? Where do the goals in the relationship come from and what happens if the couple does not pursue any common goals?
The secret of a strong relationship is setting goals! Read in our article recommendations from leading family psychologists on how to correctly set a goal in a relationship!
What are the goals of a relationship
The purpose of a relationship is always there. For some couples it is insignificant and temporary, for others, it is large-scale and long-term. If a person enters into a relationship without any purpose at all, then he finds himself driven and subordinate. He will be dissatisfied with everything, but he will not change anything. Such couples simply break up.
What is the purpose of the relationship itself ? The question is simple, but the answer is complex. More precisely, there are a lot of answers:
- Desire for attention
- Having a permanent partner
- Fulfilling your duty to your parents (because you are supposed to have a relationship)
- The most common goal of a family and relationship is financial stability and security
- Sharing interests with another person
It is impossible to say what the goal in a relationship should really be. Even self-serving goals in relationships do not always lead to the “depletion of resources” of the spouse and separation from the Mercantile partner. Statistics say that smart “hangers-on” who marry for money, skillfully adjust to the spouse and live with him all their lives. And both are very happy. After all, they know why they are together, do not deviate from the intended goal, and get pleasure from moving to the goal.
But these are long-term goals. But short-term ones occur in stable couples and in casual partners. But in any case, short-term goals are more harmful – after reaching them, both feeling exhausted and empty. And often these goals are just a bed and entertainment without obligations.
It is the goal that separates a serious relationship from a fleeting one. If your partner can’t clearly articulate a goal and explain why they chose You, give them some time. Sometimes the realization of the goal does not come immediately. But if the partner can’t name the goal after a year of relationships, then it won’t be there in the future.
Joint goals in the relationship
Joint goals in a relationship are what relationships are all about. If You already know your plans and your partner doesn’t, the relationship will soon fall apart. The goals of a woman in a relationship with a man are not very different from those of a man. Unless the sequence is usually different:
- Romantic goals-for a personal sense of happiness
- Sexual – to satisfy the physiology and confidence in the partner
- Family – getting married
- Financial – confidence in the future, acquisition of property
- Natural purpose – the birth of children
- Self-realization – in terms of personal and career achievements (so that there is someone to try for)
- A quiet and happy old age
Moreover, joint goals in a relationship should be associated with personal goals. Devoting yourself only to relationships leads to a break in ties with your partner. For example the wife is smart and beautiful, doing everything for her husband, forgetting about herself. And the husband sees in her not a wife, but a submissive and boring slave. And leaves the family-in search of a bright woman. The wife blames him for her sacrifice, which the husband did not ask for.
Examples of goals in relationships can be taken from our grandparents. They set goals for themselves when they were young and knew what their future marriage should be. That is why they still live soul to soul, despite all the old age diseases, weakened bodies and wrinkled faces.
The goals and objectives of the relationship
Having set goals for themselves, the couple becomes ready to solve the problems of the relationship. The goal is to give birth to three children, and the task is to provide conditions for yourself and future family members. This:
- Material base
- Intellectual development of parents in relation to child-rearing
- Ensuring the future education of children
In a short-term relationship, the goal is simply to have a good time. But the eternal holiday is satiating, and lovers rush in pursuit of emotions. This leads not only to a painful breakup but also to the destruction of the individual’s ability to have a relationship in General.
Pay attention to men who have “worked up”. By the age of 30, they seem to understand what they want now from a relationship, but they can not build them in any way. They can only be “saved” by a strong woman who will lead them by the hand to the right place like a boy. A rich experience with many people means that it is impossible to be with one woman.
Goals of interpersonal relationships
Family is family, but relationships are also the development of each of the partners. The goals and objectives of interpersonal relationships are to help each other. Career advancement for yourself is one way to find relationships. And for two people – this is an opportunity to be proud of each other. Mutual respect of partners is the basis of relations.
It happens that nothing can be achieved alone, without support. A man will not become a big boss if he is busy with everyday life. And having received the love and approval of the beloved, he will understand that he is not working in vain. And if a woman with the support of her husband goes to study or does something useful and loved – he will justly feel and consider this his achievement.
The purpose of the relationship is to choose one or two?
For those of us who are familiar with the Tarot reading system, the Lovers card will help you answer about the goals of relationships. Relationships are an eternal choice in principle. Look at the map – on it, the guy hesitantly stands between a chaste virgin and a debauchee. One promises him a lifetime. The other is fleeting pleasures and pleasant memories of them.
When you want to set goals in your relationship, look at this map. Determine what You really need. And discuss it with your current or potential partner. Don’t go into the unknown – if you are in doubt, don’t rush into a relationship. Otherwise, You will be left with a broken heart.
Goals of a relationship with a man – conclusions
In our article, We learned that:
- Relations without a purpose are short-lived
- In any relationship, the goals of both partners must be the same
- Real goals in a relationship are long-term goals
And of course, goals need to be combined. It is not necessary to set the goal only of having children and give up the goal of self-realization. Or with the goal of achieving material benefits, do not forget about the goal of pleasure from your partner!